Ah yes, the first day of the Desert Tour Races. Another chance to show these commoners how great I am at this sport. Another chance to appease my fans, and to dazzle the competition. I'll start by seeing who the competition is....hmmm, nobody good is here except for me. I'll go say hi to Nubara. She has a huge crush on me. It's too bad that I don't feel thesame way, but it would never be proper for me to go out with a commoner like her.

"Hello Nubara."


She's already trying to ask me out...

"So, how are you Niles?"

Oh no, she really is.

"I am good. And you?"

"I'm fine..."

I decide to let her down easy.

"Nubara, I'm sorry..."

"About what?"

"I can't go out with you, it wouldn't be proper, and I don't like you back..."

Nubara's reply: "Maybe you should go now..."

I decide to go. Hmm, there's that new kid, Polata, I think.

"Hello. I'm Niles. I'm the best one here and the best liked. If you want to get good, just watch me."

"Okay..." the kid replies. "By the way my name is..."

"Not important, not until you win a race. Get out there and prove yourself, though don't be surprised if I beat you."

I decide to move on...oh boy, here's that degenerate of a Zora, Zander. I'll humor him and say hi to him. In a way, I feel bad for him; he's not that good, and no one likes him...

"Good luck in the race today, commoner. Who knows? Maybe some of my skill will rub off on you. After all, I am the best at what I do."

"Right back at ya Niles, right back at ya..."

I can't believe it. I'm just trying to be nice, but that whelp is insulting his superior!

"What was that? An insult? You must learn respect for your superiors, you common little whelp."

"One more word Niles, and it will be my fist up your-"

"What's going on?"

Thank god, Darmino is here. If he hadn't arrived, I would have had to hurt that poor Zora. I tell him my side of the story. Darmino is a nice old Goron, one of those few who have earned enough respect from me to be treated as an equal.

"You see, I was just trying to be nice to this commoner, even telling him that some of my skill may rub off on him, and suddenly he insuts me, and when I tell him that that's not the proper way to treat a superior he threatens me. If you hadn't gotten here, I may have had to defend my self, and I may have hurt the poor fellow."

"Zander, is this true?"

"Basically. He even used the exact language he described."

"Okay, how about this? Niles, you've got to treat "commoners" like your equals. And Zander, you need to respect everybody, regardless of whether or not you like them."

Hmm...treating commoners like equals...interesting idea...ah well, that would be improper. After all, I do have more rupees than them. Well, the first race is coming up. I'm going to go take a short nap with my sack of rupees. Good luck you know, not that I need it. Well, the race is about to begin...

The First Race: The Fortress RunEdit

Hmph Another easy race which I will of course win...and we're off. Hmm, odd, I'm in last...must be a spinner malfunction...let me check the there appears to be nothing-ah crap, I didn't pay attention, here comes a roller! Ouch, that's gonna leave a mark-oh no, a revolving floor-no, I fell through. As I fall into the darkness I fade out of consciosness...

I wake up. I look at teh clock. It's been about five minutes. Suddenly, I feel something wet. I look down at my pants. They're soaked in one spot...must have been a wet spot on the course...hmm, the doctor is laughing about something. What could it be? Knowing me, I was probably telling the greatest jokes anyone will ever here while I was unconscious!