First Day of the TourEdit

So, today is the first race of the Desert Tour Races. Yippee. Yahoo. Whatever. Looks like some good competition...oh wait, that Niles person is here, looks like I won't be in last. Hey, there's someone over there I haven't met yet. Must be new. I decided to say hi to him.

"Hey, you must be new. My name is Zander. And yours?"

"My name?" he said, "You're actually asking me for my name? Well, my name is Polata. And yeah, I am new. I hope that one day I'll be really good. Everyone here looks like they are pretty good."

"Yeah, they are," I responded. Polata seemed to have a lot of energy, and seemed to see the best in people. It was both heart warming and creepy at the same time. I myself am used to the other Zoras; most of us are calm, collected people. I continued on with my response. "Except for the rich one over there. His name is Niles. Avoid him. He's really egotistacle. If you want to have fun, then hang out with the Goron over there, Darmino. He's very nice to everyone, even Niles. The Gerudo over there is Nubara. She's usually nice, but can be immature at times.

"Thank you," Polata said. "That's the nice thing about this have Gerudos hanging out with Gorons hanging out with Zoras hanging out..."

At this point, I had to tune him out. Despite the fact that he was really nice, he was also kinda annoying. Like a younger brother. Finally he stops talking. I continue on to see the other racers. I see Nubara. Ah, Nubara. She and I had gone out for a little while. After we broke up, she started to despise me. I think it's just because she's trying to hide her true feelings. I think she still likes me. Ah well. Maybe later. I'll say hi to her anyway.

"Hey, Nubara."

She replies, "Hey idiotic excuse for a Zora. Now can you leave me alone?"

"Oh, c'mon, I know you still like-"

She cut me off there with a slap across the face. That's gonna leave a mark. I decide it would be wise to walk away for the moment, though I know she still likes me. Then he walks up to me.

"Hey there, commoner!"

"Niles...nice day, isn't it?"

At this point, I'm trying to hide my disgust for him. He believes he is the best racer and that everyone just loves him. He's oblivious to the fact that the opposite of both, that he sucks at racing and that no one likes, is true.

"Good luck in the race today, commoner. Who knows? Maybe some of my skill will rub off on you. After all, I am the best at what I do."

"Right back at ya Niles, right back at ya..."

"What was that? An insult? You must learn respect for your superiors, you common little whelp."

"One more word Niles, and it will be my fist up your-"

"What's going on?"

Ah, Darmino. Perfect timing. He looks like he could beat the crap out of anyone. And he probably could. But he wouldn't. He prefers to stop fights than start them. And he never takes sides. He just stops the fight. He's the nicest person you'd ever meet. And he's almost always happy. He's almost like a gradparent, except for he's not very old and does spinner racing. Well, Niles decides to tell his side of the story first.

"You see, I was just trying to be nice to this commoner, even telling him that some of my skill may rub off on him, and suddenly he insuts me, and when I tell him that that's not the proper way to treat a superior he threatens me. If you hadn't gotten here, I may have had to defend my self, and I may have hurt the poor fellow."

"Zander, is this true?"

"Basically. He even used the exact language he described."

"Okay, how about this? Niles, you've got to treat "commoners" like your equals. And Zander, you need to respect everybody, regardless of whether or not you like them."

I couldn't believe it. Darmino was taking Niles' side. Niles then said "hmph," and walked away. I was about to when Darmino stopped me.

"Zander, I'm sorry if I offended you by saying you were a commoner."

"Well thanks, maybe you should think next time-"

"And maybe you should think about why I would say that. I knew you would listen to me no matter how I worded something-you're pretty nice like that-but I knew Niles would only listen if I addressed him like royalty. I was doing what I could to get the message through to both of you. I know, I don't like Niles much either, but we all have to get along."

Darmino always has a way with words. You can't stay mad at him. Well, the first race is about to begin, so I decide to warm up. I grab my spinner and head to the starting line. Here we go.

The First RaceEdit

(See "Through The Announcers' Eyes

After The First RaceEdit

Hmm...pretty nice first race, considering I won...wait, I don't see Niles anywhere...maybe his Farore's Wind failed..wait here he comes...oh my god, he wet himself. And he doesn't notice. Try not to laugh, try not to laugh...ah crud, I can't help it, I'm gonna laugh...

"What are you laughing at?" asked Niles. "The fact that I was right?"

I wonder to myself, what does he mean? Then I say it aloud.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, I said maybe if you were near me, some of my skill would rub off on you...and lo and behold, it did. Look, you were around me before the race, and you won..."

I decide to try and hurt his ego.

"So, you finished in last, right? Not as great as you say you are, are you?"

"Of course I am," he responded, "It just seems I got unlucky...I mean, who knew that they would put an ivisible roller in the race?"

I can't believe him. First of all, he didn't get unlucky, he just sucks. Secondly, the roller was visible...I mean, even the newbie Polata avoided it...I was going to shut him up, once and for all...

"Hey, can I get some tips from you? I want you to tell me in private, tonight out behind the does that sound?"

"Good! Maybe it will make you even better!"

So stupid. Doesn't even know what I really want to do. That's when Vio (the one in purple) walked by.

"Hey, you were really good!"


"You're not the most social, are you?"

"'s just I don't know anyone here..."

"Well, I'm Zander," I responded. "There. Now you know me."

"No I don't," he replied, "I just know your name..."

"Man, you are really deep, aren't you? By the way, you know Relyt, right?"

"Yeah...," he replied. He didn't know where I was going with this conversation. The thing was, I knew Relyt. Not well, not like a brother, but we were acquaintances. You see, I also participated in the sport of Zora surfing. I was not quite as good as Relyt (fine, I was nowhere near as close), but we did hang out a little...and now he's a hero. This guy kinda looked like Relyt, and I thought he may be Relyt in disguise...but I don't think so...Relyt was a bit...louder than this person. Then he resumed his response. "Why?"

Man, this person really was cold! So I responded, "Tell him Zander says 'hi.'"

That's when Darmino walked by.

"What are you going to do to Niles?"

"You heard me. I'm going to get advice."

"I know you're lying," he responded. "What are you really going to do?"

"I told you, getting advice..."

"Did you suffer some head injury during the race? Well, as long as I don't see it..."

I knew it. Even Darmino wanted me to do what I was going to do. Then Nubara walked by...this time I would play it cool...

"Oh, I can't believe what Darmino did to me..."

"I know," I responded. I was going to try to play the sympathy card, maybe then she would go out with me. "That doesn't seem like him. Man, that was a dirty move...he must have really wanted to win..."

"Oh, so you're saying it's okay that he played dirty like that just because it got him ahead?"


"That's it."

Once again, I felt the sting of her hand across my cheek. I'm starting to get used to this...

That Night...Edit

So, tonight I'm "meeting" with Niles. Maybe if I "take his advice" he will finally just shutup.

"So, what do you want to discuss," he said.

"Oh, just tell me what makes you so good," I responded. Wait...I think somebody is watching us...oh well, I won't get another chance at this...

"...and I always use the highest quality and most expensive gears to repair my spinner. So, what do you think?"


I punched him in the gut. He bent over coughing. He then punched me in the gut. No effect. I gave him an uppercut across the jaw, then a kick to the shin. He went down, and lied on the ground in the fetal position. That's when I heard it.

"What the hell was that?"

Ah crud, it was Nubara. She had seen me beat up Niles. No she would surely hate me.

"I said, what did you do?"

I had to respond. "Umm...I just beat the hell out of Niles..."

"Oh, come 'ere, you.."

She grabbed me and kissed me. I kissed her back.

"So...does this mean we're going out again?"

"Yes...see ya around...

Second RAce: Burning PassageEdit

Man, is it hot in here! I don't think I can stand much of this. I'll do my best...hey, why is there a volcano in the desert anyway? Darn, Darvus just took a shortcut, and I missed hot...must keep going...Does anyone have some water...oh, no my scales are drying up...this isn't good...looks like I have to drop-no! I'm almost there! Only a few more yards and....yes! made it. Hmm, fourth place...not so bad...wait, I'm still dehydrated!


Phew, finally got some. That's good. Well, there seems to be some sort of ruckus going on...wait, is, it looks like my mission wasn't for naught after all...

Sudden Turn of EventsEdit

I couldn't believe it. My source of info was true. Somebody really was going to sabotage the tournament. And it was Nubara and a group of Gerudo. Figures. For the past few hundred years, relations between the Gerudos and the rest of Hyrule have been...well, less then ideal, to say the least. But I know what I must do. I sneak easily through the passage (jug of water on me, of course-I'm in a freakin' volcano) and get behind the Gerudos.

"Miss me, honey?"

A Gerudo charged at me with her cruelly shaped schimitar. I dodged her first slash, and tripped her with a low kick. Another one charges me. She tried to stab me, but I grabbed her sword hand, twisted her arm back, and flipped her onto the hot, hard ground. A third one rush me, and cut me across the arm. AS she attemped a second slash, I ducked and then pushed her to the ground. Now it's just me and Nubara.

"I thought you didn't hit girls."

"I don't. As long as they're not evil."

"Then you must hit Hylians. They're all evil..."

"Hmph. Well, sorry Nubara. It was part of my mission all along."

"Same here."

"Ironic. I started going out with you thinking you thought that I really did want to go out with you, and you thought exactly the same thing."

"Wait, hold on a second, I need to comprehend..."

She then lunged at me. I dodged. I then jumped to the ceiling of the small passage, snapped off a stalactite, and used it like a warhammer. Our battle raged for what felt like hours, but it was really only about a minute. However, in the end I had knocked out Nubara. And everyone was staring at me. Moving on...


Confused? Well, I'm not surprised. That whole time, I wasn't there to race; I was there to stop a plot to sabotage the race and possibly hurt other racers. I thought for sure Niles was behind it; that's why I beat him up. However, seeing how weak and stupid he was, I knew it couldn't have been him. So I then turned to the Nubara; she had the most to gain after Niles. She had never won a tournament, but had become very close. If she didn't win this one, she would have been dfemoted to the minor league for a while. So I started going out with here to try and extract information. However, I didn't know she was playing me as well. I think she went out with me to try and throw me off. However, since we both were using each other, both of our plans failed. Thus, Nubara decided to put her plan into action. She thought that I'd be too weak after the burning passage. What she didn't figure was that I'd finish. But I did, which screwed up her whole plan. You saw the rest. The end. Of that mission...